


Dying Embers

by OnceUponAMidnight



Category: Lost
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:24:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceUponAMidnight/pseuds/OnceUponAMidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of fire and ash. Some times violence hangs around like a thick smoke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dying Embers

“Honey, I’m home” Sawyer crooned gleefully as he stepped through the door, setting his briefcase on the floor and shutting the door behind him. He and Sayid had been living together for over a month now yet he still he was getting used to returning home and finding a hot Iraqi waiting for him. Especially when that hot Iraqi was the same one he had fought tooth and nail with on the island, literally, though that was something he did his best to forget. Even their truce afterwards had been uneasy though Sawyer reckoned it was due mostly to hidden lust.

“Sayid?” he called as walked into the living room, immediately he realised that something was wrong. The living room was a mess, furniture was over turned with papers and books strewn all over the floor.   
He was about to call out for Sayid again when he smelt burning drifting through the house. Rushing into the other room he realised it was coming from outside. He stepped into the garden and was startled to find Sayid sat on the patio, chin resting on his arms with a small box burning in front of him. He looked like some kind of hellish angel, his ash covered skin set aglow by the dim light thrown by the fire, and yet still unfeasibly beautiful. 

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, concern etched in his voice as he knelt next to the smaller man. The blank expression his lover wore as he stared into the flames worried him far more than the fire, despite its proximity to the house.  
Sayid didn’t respond, didn’t even make any movement to acknowledge his presence. “Hey” he said softly, reaching out to place a hand on his lover’s shoulder, even then he received neither reply nor motion. He was about to drag the other man to his feet when he heard a whisper, “I am a monster”.   
There were no obvious signs that he had spoken, he still stared almost unblinking into the fire, though Sawyer could feel the tension emanating through the smaller man’s muscles.   
“Don’t be stupid, ‘course you’re not” but once again there was no reply. Frustration rose in him and he reached over and forcibly turned Sayid’s face so that they were looking at each other, “Hey”, his voice more aggressive than before. “You are not a monster” his eyes searched wide, brown eyes until eventually Sayid’s dropped to the floor.   
“You don’t know the things that I have done” there was a danger in his voice and a flash of darkness as his eyes leapt up to meet Sawyer’s. "I've hurt people so badly that they begged me to kill them" he sneered in revulsion, the danger in his eyes made Sawyer want to rip his eyes away but he couldn't. "It almost made being an assassin bareable" he muttered, eyes dropping once again. Sawyer couldn't help but be pleased not to see that look in his lover's eyes, reminding him of what he once was.  
Fighting the cold feeling overtaking him, Sawyer pulled Sayid to his feet, “And I don’t care. I know you now, that’s all that matters”. Sawyer sighed and eased his grasp of Sayid’s shoulders, “Look at me” he asked, searching out those beautiful brown eyes and relaxing a little as he complied with a soft, haunted look deep inside of them. “What brought this on?” his voice gentle this time.  
“I…I saw one of my” Sayid paused a moment as if searching for the right word, “my victims whilst in town today”. He took a deep breath. “It was as if I had been hit by a truck”, he said quietly. Glancing nervously up at Sawyer he carried on, “I came back here and I couldn’t control myself. I felt this violent compulsion to do something”. He looked down at the now smouldering box, “I found some photos of myself in my army uniform” he said almost apologetically as an explanation of the fire. 

Sawyer stroked a hand through his lover’s hair, “You’re a different man now, remember that”. He traced a thumb over a smudge of ash on the other man’s cheek and leaned in to press their lips together. The kiss was soft but there was an underlying desperation that drove both men to cling to one another as if drawing from the other’s life force. Sayid tasted of smoke and sadness in a way that made Sawyer’s heart almost break. As the kiss ended they stayed entwined, pressing their foreheads together.   
“Do you really think so?” Sayid half whispered, all hints of darkness had faded from his voice.   
“Well I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t trust you” Sawyer grinned and pushed back some of Sayid’s ash covered hair, which along with the smudges on his cheek, made him look rather cute. Not that he would tell that to Sayid’s face.  
Sawyer felt a small victory when he caught Sayid’s half smile. Stomping on the dying embers of the fire, he turned around to face Sayid, “You coming inside?”


End file.
